The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. -- Lucille Ball
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. -- Gracie Allen
Love is the delightful interval
between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. -- John Barrymore
When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet. -- Nick Arnette
It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week. -- Laurence J Peter
I recently read that love is
entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. -- David Bissonnette
Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not. -- Friedrich Nietzsche
I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound. -- Billy Connolly
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out,
she'll kill me. -- Henry Youngman
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? -- Lily Tomlin
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. -- John Barrymore
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. -- Rita Rudner
